u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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