I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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