bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
