It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
