as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
