I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Watching her eat just hurts me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
