Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
