a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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