Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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