Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
