I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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