did you get engaged???
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
