Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
