I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
