i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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