A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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