You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
