In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
