I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
