Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
