Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
