Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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