I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
