i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize