Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
