some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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