Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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