I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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