you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
