Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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