its not stalking. its research.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
