Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
