I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
