I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
