No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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