Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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