Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
