Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
