You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
