I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
