Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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