I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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