Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
