so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
