i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
