I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
