I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
