why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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