I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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