he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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